If you've asked yourself any of these questions on our anger dice, we can help you ride the wave of feeling angry.
Unpacking Anger Management FAQs
The anger dice is a fun way to think about what the anger connects with. We categorised Frequently Asked Questions on Google into 6 sides of connecting with feeling angry, so that we build a deeper understanding and appreciation for anger.
In our related posts, anger management isn't to manage and deal with the emotion, and it is about understanding its message of injustice and exploring the unmet need which gave rise to the feeling of anger. The related articles are linked below.
🔹 Understanding Anger (Self-Reflection FAQs)
"Why do I get angry so easily?"
"Is my anger normal or do I have an anger problem?"
"Why do I feel angry even over small things?"
"Why do I always feel frustrated but don’t know why?"
"What is my anger trying to tell me?"
👉 Connection Point: This side of the anger dice helps you normalise anger as a biological signal rather than a flaw.
Invite curiosity and seek the underlying unmet needs rather than feeling guilt or shame.
🔹 Recognising Triggers & Root Causes of Anger FAQs
"Why do I get angry when I feel ignored?"
"Why does disrespect make me so angry?"
"Why do I feel angry when people don’t listen to me?"
"Why do I explode when I feel powerless?"
"How do I stop feeling resentful all the time?"
👉 Connection Point: You validate the experience and introduce psychological safety and unmet needs as the real issue behind anger.
A common emotions centred coaching question would be as follows:
"What deeper need or value feels threatened when you experience these situations, and how can you honour that need in a healthier way (or in a manner you have full control over its outcome)?"
🔹 Nervous System & Emotional Regulation Searches
"How do I control my anger in stressful situations?"
"Why do I feel out of control when I’m angry?"
"What can I do when my anger is overwhelming?"
"Why do I shut down instead of expressing my anger?"
"How do I calm down quickly when I get angry?"
👉 Connection Point: According to the work of Dr Stephen Porges about Polyvagal Theory, anger is a perfectly understandable and biologically normal response and the nervous system response is designed to keep us safe from threats.
If any of these FAQs is something you asked, it could be a sign that your nervous system is more sensitive to cues of danger.
Instead of feeling out of control—shifting your focus from “I’m broken” to “I can learn to regulate” through emotional regulation coaching and the Safe and Sound Protocol.
🔹 Identity-Based Concerns ("I Don’t Want to Be an Angry Person")
"Am I just an angry person?"
"How do I stop being so irritable all the time?"
"Can I change if I’ve been angry my whole life?"
"How do I stop anger from ruining my relationships?"
"How can I be a calmer, more relaxed person?"
👉 Connection Point: Try to reframe anger as a state, not an identity, offering hope that you can shift from "being an angry person" to someone who feels safe, calm, and in control.
Anger comes and anger goes. A common coaching question is to ask what do you reckon is the extreme opposite of anger? How often have you experienced such pleasant feelings?
A person can't truly claim to be a peaceful person or an angry person because emotions come and they go. We can only claim to be emotional beings, which we truly are!
🔹 Social & Relationship-Based Anger Searches
"Why do I get so angry at my partner/spouse?"
"Why do I lash out at the people I love?"
"How can I stop yelling at my kids when I’m frustrated?"
"Why do I get defensive so quickly in arguments?"
"How do I express anger without hurting others?"
👉 Connection Point: You connect anger to psychological safety in relationships, showing that people matter to you. Perhaps the underlying need is to control and protect from losing this love?
You don’t have to lose connections because of anger— you can change how you respond in a loving and kind way.
Bidding well and expressing unmet needs is an integral part of Gottman Couple Therapy. Find out more from our Gottman Level 3 Couple Therapist Ms Dawn Tan.
🔹 Workplace & Everyday Stress Searches
"How do I stop getting angry at work?"
"Why do I feel rage when I get criticised?"
"How can I handle frustration in high-stress situations?"
"How do I keep my cool when I feel disrespected?"
"What should I do when I feel like I’m about to snap?"
👉 Connection Point: You shift from feeling trapped in emotional reactions to realising the need to develop self-regulation strategies.
If you need support to unpack any of these questions, reach out to our therapist or emotions centred coach Ignatius Quek, so that you appreciate anger and learn to harness wisdom from every emotion.
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